[Fanfiction] By Your Side Through the Night

[aragarna]

Title: By Your Side Through the Night
Author: Aragarna
Genre, rating: angst, h/c, gen, g.
Characters: Peter, Neal.
Spoilers: up to 5x13.
word count: ~1000
Summary: Tag to episode 5x13. Neal has disappeared. Peter is looking for him. They're thinking about each other, sending a silent plea into the night.
Author's note: This was written for my buddy kanarek13 as part of the Get Well Fest in her honor.

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By your side through the night

Neal.

Peter…

Tell me you didn’t run.

I didn’t run.

Where are you? What happened?

Please come get me…

Are you okay?

You should be settled in DC by now.

Are you hurt?

How is it? Is El enjoying the National Gallery?

Please, come back…

I was so looking forward to visit you guys… And maybe a museum or two.

At least send me a sign. Something…

I guess you’ll be the one visiting me… You’ll come visit me, right?

There’s no trace of you. Anywhere. It’s like you vanished into thin air.

What if you’re not looking for me? Will anyone be able to find me?

I’d say it’s impossible. But with you…

Did they even tell you I was gone?

 I never went to DC, you know.

I didn’t give you the chance.

I just turned it down. It didn’t feel right. They’re just a bunch of bureaucrats who see numbers where there’s people…   I refuse to be pampered while they’re abusing you.

No compromise, huh?

Something like that…

You’re a good man, Peter.

You too, Neal, you too. You’ve been doing a great job at the FBI. I’m proud of you.

Still?

Of course.  Well, if you didn’t run.

I didn’t! Tell me you’re looking for me.

I am looking for you. I’ll find you, you know that. Look, I’m sorry, Neal. For everything. I wish we had time to talk. I realize now, how much pressure you’ve been under. The difficult situation you were in. And I didn’t see it.

This wasn’t your fault.

You were sending me all the wrong signals. I know you by heart, I can tell when you keep things from me, when you and Mozzie are plotting things on the sides. And you kept committing those crimes…

That was the price to pay.

I wish you’d let me in.

I couldn’t.

I get it. It’s okay, Neal. I understand now. I regret the things I said. I thought you didn’t want to change, that you wanted to remain a criminal, and I was struggling with what to do with that.

I just wish you would have understood.

I’m sorry I disappointed you, Neal. It’s all my fault.

How could it be your fault?

You did it for me.

I’d do it again.

Hmm… I’d rather not.

Forgive me, Peter. I didn’t mean to hurt you. I just couldn’t bear the idea of you being in jail, when your only crime had been to help me and my father. I had to take you out, at any cost. You weren’t supposed to find out. As long as you didn’t know, it was all good.

You know what’s your problem, Neal?

What?

You always underestimate me.

Prove it to me one last time then, find me. And I swear I won’t make that mistake again.

I’m working on it, Neal! Everyone’s looking for you.

How many?

Including my agents and the Marshals, all of them I think. Except they all think you ran.

And you?

I want to believe you didn’t… I know you have enough, and you need a break. But running now would be… Neal, you told me you didn’t want to run anymore. Why would you do that?

I didn’t run. Please, believe me.

I had that surrealist conversation with Mozzie… He told me you couldn’t have possibly run, because he was still working on something?! He wouldn’t tell me any specifics, but he was sure you couldn’t have run. And he seemed seriously worried for your safety – I’ll spare you his list of theories on your disappearance. But Neal, were you really planning on running with Mozzie?

I was upset. I’m sorry. I wouldn’t have run.

I do believe you wouldn’t run willingly without Mozzie, though. He also told me that the day before you were ready to give up the life, that you were pretty adamant about it. He seemed pretty upset.

Oh yes, he was. He’ll get over it.

All in all, I’m not sure what to make of this conversation… Should I be pleased or pissed off? I never know where to stand with you, Neal… Just… tell me you didn’t run…

I didn’t run.

What happened, then?

I’ve been kidnapped. It was a freaking kidnapping, in plain daylight…

Where are you?

I don’t know… We’ve been driving for hours. I lost track of time. Peter, I don’t know!

Who are they? What do they want?

I don’t know… I don’t know…

It’s okay, Neal. It’s okay. I’m here. I’ll find out. I’ll find you. I’m working on it. Good thing I didn’t take that cushy desk job. Just hold on, okay?

I am.

Are you safe?

I wouldn't bet on that.

Can’t you escape? You’re Neal Caffrey, world class escape artist. What’s taking you so long?

I’ve tried. They’re professional. They don’t make mistakes.

Have they hurt you?

If I escaped, would it count as running?

Only if you didn’t come running back to me.

Okay.

Neal, are you hurt?

I’m fine, Peter. Just come get me. You’ll find me, right? You always find me…

I will, Neal. Damn it, I will. I promise.

…

…

Peter?

Yes, Neal?

Do you regret taking the deal?

Of course not. I was angry. I might have said thing. I didn’t mean them. You?

If I make it -

You’ll make it. You have to.

Would you take me back?

You mean, as your handler?

Yes.

You don’t like Jones?

I – I’d prefer you.

I’d love that. You and me, back on the same team. It’s a deal.

Sounds great. Can’t wait.

Hold on, buddy. I’ll find you.

I trust you on this.

It’s a promise, Neal. In no time you’ll be back at White Collar. Just try to stay safe.

----------------------------------

In the dark solitude of his holding cell, Neal turned around on the old sagging mattress and snuggled in a fetal position. “Come get me…” he whispered again to the night.

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Emptying his umpteenth coffee of the night, Peter slumped back in his chair. It was three in the morning, but he refused to call it day. He won’t go home without Neal. He charged some new video footage of a nondescript van spotted speeding across the state border. “Hold on, Neal, just hold on a little longer…” he whispered.

FIN.

Comments

[aragarna.livejournal.com]

Thanks!
Yes, definitely. Neal always assumes Peter won't find out. Except Peter always does, bringing troubles and heartaches... ;-)