[personal profile] aragarna
Title: Always Here for You
Author: Aragarna
Genre, rating: gen, episode tag, missing scene, angst, comfort
Characters: Neal, Peter
Word count: 870
Spoilers: up to 6x01
Summary: Episode tag to 6x01. Rachel is gone, leaving Neal fighting alone with too many opposing feelings. Fortunately, he's not as alone as he thought.
Author's Note: Many thanks to the awesome [livejournal.com profile] anodyneer for the beta. And special mention to [livejournal.com profile] kanarek13 and [livejournal.com profile] sheenianni for convincing me this needed to be written. :-)

Always Here for You



The elevator stops at the 21st floor, and the doors open. Neal blinks. He steps forward but changes his mind and presses the button for the roof level.

The cool breath of the wind that penetrates under his jacket and through his shirt makes him shiver, but somewhat appeases the burning pain in his chest. He walks to the farcorner, facing west, and leans on the security railing. His gaze is directed toward the horizon and the lovely sunset, but he isn’t really seeing it. Too many confused feelings are spinning in his heart, and one image keeps coming back, floating in front of his eyes. Rebecca. Rachel.

It feels like his heart is going to explode under the pressure of too many opposing feelings. Love, hate, sorrow. Once again today, he’s faced her, and once again, he felt his heart bounce at the sight of her eyes clear like the sky, her soft skin. He looked at her, and he remembered the passion of their intimate nights. He hates her for what she did to him, how she played him into falling for her, only to reveal herself as the worst kind of cold-blooded psychopath and murderer.

Her death should make things easier. He won’t have to see her again – ever. She’s gone. It’s all behind him now. But for some reason, it doesn’t.

Why? Why did she do that? Death is so definitive, but it’s barely a solution. Not for those left behind.

We are on borrowed time. Neal can’t believe there isn’t any solution. An escape route.  A loophole. He won’t end like that. He refuses to accept it.

Soft footsteps resonate behind him. He doesn’t need to turn around to know it’s Peter. He can’t help a soft smile. Peter leans next to him on the railing. He doesn’t say a word. They watch the sun slowly approaching the horizon.

“How did you know I’d be here?” Neal asks finally.

“I thought you might need some air,” Peter says softly.

“She said that for people like us, there were only two ends possible. Behind bars, or dead.”

“You’re not like her, Neal. You can choose to be different.”

Neal wishes he could believe it.

Peter slides closer and puts a hand on Neal’s shoulder. “I won’t let it happen.”

Neal lets go a humorless laugh. “Right.” It sounds more bitter than he intended to. He knows he isn’t being very fair to Peter. He deserves his promotion to DC. It isn’t his fault if Neal is like a toxic tornado, bringing down everyone and everything around him. But Neal doesn’t really care right now. All he wants is to burrow in a deep hole and stop feeling.

He can feel Peter’s gaze on him. He can almost feel the frown as Peter reads his mind while Neal obstinately keeps his eyes on the sky turning orange ahead.

“I’m not going,” Peter finally says.

Neal looks up at him.

“I’m not going to DC,” Peter repeats.

Now it’s Neal’s turn to scrutinize his friend. “Why?”

Peter shrugs. “They refused you your freedom.”

Neal can’t believe what he’s hearing. This is too much to process, and he’s already numb from all the events of the last forty-eight hours. A fuzzy warmth wraps around him, relieving him partly from all the tension he had accumulated in so little time.

“You refused a well-deserved promotion, because of me?”

“Not because of you. Because of them.”

“Are you really doing this?”

“It is the right thing to do.”

Neal just stares at Peter, who is smiling at him, as if he had just announced something trivial. The Yankees won. Tomorrow will be sunny. El’s making chicken.  I’m not going to DC. Neal can’t help a smile as he shakes his head. After all this time, part of Peter still remains a mystery to him, and yet somehow, that shouldn’t surprise him. Whether it’s in Neal’s favor or not, Peter lives by his principles.

He suddenly feels less alone.

“Thank you,” he says, and his voice is almost a whisper, but Peter brushes it off with a casual shrug.

They watch as the sun is swallowed by the horizon.

“How about Elizabeth?” Neal asks after a while. “Didn’t she get a job at the National Gallery?”

“Yes, she did. She’s still going. She’s very excited about it.”

Neal opens his mouth, dumbfounded.

“And you’re okay with it?”

Peter looks away to the horizon. “I can’t deny it’s going to take some time to get used to it. But we’ll make it work. It’s what’s right, for both of us.”

“You’re sure you’re going to survive without your wife?” Neal teases. “You can barely brew yourself a proper coffee.”

“I fixed the coffee machine at work, remember?”

“That’s not making coffee.”

Peter rolls his eyes. He pushes away from the railing. “Come on, let me take you home.”

-------------------------------------------------

“Will you be okay, tonight?” Peter asks as he parks in front of June’s mansion.

“Yes, I’ll be fine. Mozzie should be here,” Neal says as he exits the car.

“Good. See you tomorrow, then?”

“Bright and early. I’ll bring you coffee,” Neal fires back with a smirk.

Peter shakes his head. “Good night, Neal.”


FIN





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